You're never too old to learn. I've just learned that in our new "monitor democracy" in which everything is known to everyone so people power prevails the only safe strategy is keep your head down and say nowt.

I said Speaker Martin should be allowed to go at the next election and the Grimsby Telegraph letters page is filled with denunciation.

I said Elliot Morley should be allowed to put his side of the case and wham bang the abuses pours in.

Hence forth its stum. Has Smith resigned? No comment. Should Gordon go- "he's the best PM we've got" - No sorry too outspoken. No comment. Is Darling? No comment.

Are you standing down? No comment. Are you available for promotion? "Well funnily enough I was just sending my CV to Gordon. I've got a free day next Tuesday."