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Touching scenes last week as Jim Murphy, the nice lad whose only problem is his acute Blairism, was lamenting the fact that he’s been left to struggle with the infamous Deregulation Bill which, under the guise of getting rid of undesirable red tape (which we can’t because most of it comes from Europe), the Bill empowers the government to do anything from firing the judges to cutting off Cameron`s balls (not Prezza’s: they’re national jewels).
For weeks Murphy has been stolidly defending the indefensible only to be told that he now has to make concessions to reduce the fear while (of course) retaining the substance of powers. Can’t be done. More experienced souls advised him to kick it into the long grass until the summer and then forget about it. This suggestion was greeted with blank horror. Aspiring Blairite Ministers can’t think thoughts like that.
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It’s a brilliant idea to take the Home Office, widely recognised as the worst run, most incompetent, useless and stultified Department, and winner of the Enron Management Award for three years running, and choose it to run the biggest, most complicated, expensive and fraught IT scheme any country has ever embarked on, namely the ID Blaircard Card Scheme. This won’t be a mere disaster but a super nova cataclysm.
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ASBOs provide the perfect way of dealing with the Blair anti-socialist behaviour problem. On behalf of the party Prezza should offer him a short term employment contract for one year as Leader, on condition that he agrees to a few minimal conditions.
- No new initiatives
- No new "reforms"
- No new fund-raising loans or gifts
- No new Lords, Academy Schools or Trust Schools
- No more re-shuffles and no new Ministers appointed without election by those members of the PLP without official appointments.
- No new wars and troops home from any war that does not involve British interests by 2007
- No screwing on or up the job.
Sign here please.
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Local election results. Not bad but an accurate picture of the electorate. They don’t like any of us and aren’t interested. Make Prezza Rector of Stifkey (or stiff something) and give them some honest entertainment. As for Blair’s last re-shuffle, what a mess. Those who’ve loyally prostituted themselves to do his whims (Clarke, Kelly, Straw) all suffer; loyal lunkheads (Armstrong, Blears) are promoted and Prezza’s mates (Caborn, McCartney) get the boot in case they soil the furniture. The one person who most needed to be re-shuffled is still there.
Greater love hath no man than he lay down his friends for his life. Like 1962 and MacMillan lasted two years. |
