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Fit for Bloggers. Not fit for the Yorkshire Post...
Prince Charles must demand an Honours BA in incompetence (Pure and Applied) before he takes on staff. How do they manage to make such a mess of such easy things?
Of course Charles should marry Camilla. He’s lucky to get such a fun person as her. I hope they’ll be very happy. I’m not unkeen on her myself. When I was introduced to her as “old Labour” she said “wonderful. We like old Labour”. I curtsied on the spot.
Of course she should become queen. What the hell else? Morganatic Missus? E.R. upstairs? Of course she should be Princess of Wales. But the rest of them should not be the Princess of this and the Duchess of That. Princess Ferguson is Duchess of York but doesn’t know where it is. Princes Pushy should be Princess Fred of Essex not Kent. As for the Duck and Duckess of Wessex, where is it? Why is it? Does it have a BBC regional programme:Look Wessexwards? Scrap the lot.
Good to know that we’re killing more foxes since hunting was banned than we were when it was legal. They are vermin after all. This proves that government policy is working. Government must now issue weekly targets for the non hunting hunts telling them how many foxes they should kill. Accidentally of course.
After the legislative hash this is probably the best way out. Hunting goes on as drag hunting. Provided they can bottle enough fox pee to keep it going. Lots of hearty brutes and gents continue to have great days out horsing around the countryside. Which stops them binge drinking. Hunt saboteurs get some fresh air and boost Jessops profits by buying cameras. The police stay home to deal with weightier matters like parking and eating apples while driving. Then, after a few weeks the media lose interest and the lawyers find there’s no money in it. So they all rejoin the hunts.
As for the dogs they live on I remember the Marquis of Yarborough telling me that he’d have his hounds put down “even though they’ve got a better pedigree than you-right back to the eighteenth century” Wrong milord I can trace Mitchells back to the l760s in Heptonstall.
Michael Howard is sewing a patchwork quilt of policy for his manifesto. Is there something that worries you madam? Race, immigration, the asylum seekers over from Lancashire, Council Tax? Europe? Here’s a policy for it.
Put together it’s a cranks charter. Such mess makes it look as though the Tories don’t stand for anything anymore. But then they don’t. Do they?
I waited in the freezing cold for three hours in the hope that I might see Tony in his red helicopter flying overhead so I could wave. I was going to be on it but I and three other regional MPs were offloaded to make room for John Prescott. So we couldn’t play our part in showering out policy commitments without verbs.
I needn’t have bothered. Last week Tony was on every radio and TV programme known to man-though not it appears Radio Heckmondwike or Mariner Radio in Grimsby. He was doing what he’s good at. Since that’s boosting Tony I’m not sure how much good it does the Labour Party.
Next week I’m asked to a photo session with him. Sorry Tony. A bit busy
Actually I envy Tony his opportunity to appear on any media Alistair wants him to. Its not the same for local candidates. We’ve been put into purdah for this phony war period. Local media will only mention us if we walk under a bus. However great the issue we’re not quoted. We can’t go into schools, colleges or hospitals unless all the candidates go in a crowd spectacular. As for photos for leaflets. Not allowed. Particularly with children who have to give their consent and get signed approval from parents grand parents and great aunt Nellie. As I look so old on my photos, I’m gong to use some taken by YORKSHIRE TELEVISION when, as you’ll well remember, I was only l8.
And finally...
I can’t see the point of all of this sanctimonious clamor for Ken Livingstone to apologize. It been exaggerated out of all proportion and turns slurred words with drink taken into a ex cathedra attack.
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