|
Written by Austin Mitchell
|
|
21 July 2006 |
|
My lovely party and the nasty media who tell us what our policies should be are both living in a pos- Blair world.
We’re awash with speculation about possible candidates to oppose Gordon and endless gossip about who`s been promised what job by him. Both are coming fast and furious as we wait with the curious passivity of those who are about to die, for Gordon.
What no-one is considering is what happens after Tony departs to Connaught Square les Deux Englises.
So here’s my scenario. Tony goes after his ten year land mark, taking Prezza with him to Hull Les Deuz Shags. A grateful party pours out their praises, through gritted teeth. Gordon is elected leader unopposed because remembering the fate of Bryan Gould (exiled to New Zealand for opposing John Smith) no-one thinks it worthwhile to risk their careers by opposing the inevitable.
Alan Johnson becomes Deputy, Gordon appoints a Cabinet of the best and brightest (both of them) of the existing Cabinet, plus Charles Clarke.
Having devoted the run up to this coronation by endorsing all Blair’s positions to take the ground away from a Blairite candidate who he should have known wouldn’t be forthcoming but feared because of his paranoid mistrust of the Great Leader, Gordon now finds that it was all unnecessary and has alienated a swathe of party opinion. He, therefore, begins to back-peddle and emancipate himself by bringing the troops back from Iraq, announcing that having made the economy sound it`s now time to expand it and go for growth and proposing various spending initiatives as a reward, all to come into effect after the election, along with a new health tax, a graduate tax to support the universities, and a more progressive council tax with subsidies to ease the pain of the poor.
Great Gordon then seizes the bounce in the polls which all changes of leadership bring and calls an early election. Which Labour wins. Just like Eden in 1955 but with far better results. Roll out the old, bring in the new. New Leader New Start.
The open mike at the G8 which broadcast the conversation between Dubya and Tony was a marvellous illustration of Tony’s dependant relationship. Our great leader whitters on diffidently. Bush munches on stuffing food into his mouth, ignoring Tone and dismissing each idea with “Condi’s doing that” and a claim that Syrian shit is the cause of the problem. Piss off Tony. I’m in charge. Other European leaders chew on impassively.
* * *
Parliament breaks up for the summer next week though there’s so little going on that anyone with any sense has gone already. Will anyone notice? As with the death of Calvin Coolidge, how can they tell? |
