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Holiday Mood (Tell No One) |
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Written by Austin Mitchell
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31 July 2008 |
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Now it can be told. Pretending to go on holiday incognito in Cleethorpes I’ve given the slip to the press pack following me round to try and get hold of my top secret advice to Gordon and fled the country heavily disguised as a senior citizen and come to California to a little seaside town called Cayucos whose only claim to fame is that nothing ever happens.
My Grandchildren are on a Junior Life Guard course. Linda is reading 200 books a day. I’m doing a Charles Atlas course which will turn me into a bronzed, slim, hero of the beach in just over two years (I’m asking Tommy McAvoy to let me stay that long so Grimsby can avoid a by election) and the grandchildren are learning how to deal with heart attacks, strokes, drowning and snake bites just in case I have any problems.
So I’m happy, happy, happy. But don’t tell that to Gordon because I’ve just written to him to say “I feel your pain”. But not right now.
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The level of abuse and distortion on US TV attains Cameronian levels. In a few days viewing of FOX news I heard Obama described as a Muslim because of his middle name (and despite the damage done by his association with Pastor Wright) a socialist because of his visit to Europe-a bastion of socialism-and last night Hannity proclaimed that the Obamas don’t give Christmas or Birthday presents to their kids.” Which shows they’re socialists.” On the other hand they could be Yorkshire. Why don’t they come out and say what they really dislike. He’s not white. Is he fit to be a face on the dollar bills?
Which prompts a thought. Why not put Gordon’s face on our five pound notes? Then people would spend them more quickly and stimulate the economy. |
