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In view of the number of media enquiries I would like to make it clear that I do not, never have and never will employ any member of my enormous family in my office or by my parliamentary allowances.
They’re such a load of ignorant layabouts that I wouldn’t trust them working for Grimsby, my parliamentary activities, or walking my dog.
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My Staff. Another Statement
I have a long, I hope devoted, and certainly long-serving staff. They’re the best of any MP, serve Grimsby well. They’re also underpaid.
Joyce: Grimsby born and bred who’s been with me for 24 years. Brilliantly organised and always helpful. Even to me.
Pat: Grimsby born and bred. Understands immigration, child support and benefit issues better than the departments. Been with me 10 years.
Dawn: Grimsby born and bred. Worked for me for 25 years. Excellent on drug and alcohol issues, including mine. Once she gets her teeth into an issue she never gives up.
Matt: Kept in Westminster to hide from constituents the fact that he comes from Hull. Lively, fun and hard working – particularly at keeping me organised.
Amy: Also disadvantaged (from Lancashire). Efficient, effective and so concerned she was put on the naughty step by Downing Street. Amy’s Young Old Labour and a better socialist than me.
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Remember the shop in the Conrad story where no one ever bought anything and nothing was for sale because it was a front for spies?
All the Belgian chocolate shops which never sell chocolate are today’s equivalent. Fronts for the Brussels Commission all of them.
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It’s baffling trying to amend the European Constitution not particularly because it comes in three volumes and is incomprehensible. This week I put down my first: to abolish the Common Fisheries Policy.
This is the first constitution in the world to include fish, “We hold these fish to be self evident” and get a guarantee of, “life, liberty and the pursuit of fish” (but only specified species by specified quotas on specified days to specified vessels, but with no discards. Unless you’re Spanish)
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The 1355 map of Great Britain is amazing. Particularly because on it Grimsby has a clock tower. |