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Austin`s interview with Jaqui Smith, Labour`s Headmistress (Head of HR). “You`ll know why I wanted to see you”. “Not the foggiest idea”. Three charges, all justified by reading out PLP rules:
ONE. Criticising Cabinet Ministers. Bang to rights. Guilty but insane.
TWO. Saying I was ashamed to be a Labour MP. Not said. That was the Independent`s headline hyperbole. I`m proud to be Labour. But why bother to prove it to pillocks who`re as Labour as Cameron. Or Blair.
THREE. Attacking Liam Byrne. Unbelievable. The grounds were that he`s “risen without trace” and would be the Daily Mail`s Minister of the Year. De minimis non curat Whips. Even Liam is too big a man to complain about that.
Reams of Blog transcripts were produced (keep taking it). This seems to be the first stage of a process. I should have called for my QC, Marshall Andrews. Or said, like bolder spirits, “Whatever”, but I just couldn`t believe it.
The ship is sinking so we bully the bilge cleaners and chase tattle tale and trivia. I agreed not to blog naughty. So in future this blog will work under the HP Sauce rubric. Cette sauce, de haute qualite, est un melange de fruits orientaux, d`epices, et de vinaigre de malt pure. Elle est absolument pur et ne contient aucune matiere colouratif ni presevatif. It`ll be as pure, and as dead, as a Bernard Matthews turkey.
The Hansard of my Adjournment Debate on Tuesday misreported my little joke on Liam Byrne, deporter extraordinaire:
The Heart is Gold the name is Byrne
Women and Children get first turn
At deportation
Hansard substituted God for Gold. But then he is on his way up.
Respectful Thoughts on Jack`s Lords` Reform
One. It`s daft. Thirty percent nominated is far too high.
Two. If it ain`t broke don`t fix it.
Three. The Commons will pass it, the Lords will reject it. Result? A year of screw up.
Four. Gordon will kick it into the long grass.
Five. So just repeal the clause allowing replacements to dead hereditaries to be replaced (the clause Tony insisted on) and let things be until after the next election.
Six. Whatever.
Blog has replaced the old gossiping world of Westminster bars, tea rooms, restaurants and smoking rooms and the socialising process of being cooped up together until midnight. That was bitchy, character assassinating, shit talking, gossip. Now it`s gone. BLOG is the only replacement.
Too late now to put the genie or the farts back into the bottle and we can`t apply the disciplines of the Forties to the technology of the twenty-first century or impose the submission of the last century on the thinking of this. Labour needs a bubbling ferment of ideas. An open debate. Labour is life, ideas, debate, or it`s dead |
