|
Written by Austin Mitchell
|
|
15 October 2007 |
|
Roller coaster ain`t in it. Two weeks ago Gordon Brown was Master of the Universe. Today a deflating lilo, seven points behind, drifting helplessly on a Tory tide. Not only has the election I wanted vanished, but we`re going to lose the next. Mein Gord.
I can`t stand this pace. The press has gone all gaderine. Even more so than usual. In days it`s changed from polishing Brown`s boots to treating him as damaged goods, like lead painted toys from China. Subject to imminent recall and dumping.
Mathew Parris yells “Hound the bastards out”. All the pundits parade their wisdom in ruling out an election in advance and in denouncing the overenthusiastic young bloods (ie me) who wanted one.
“Friends of Blair” have emerged from the undergrowth to give Tony’s opinion that Gordon’s a bum and that must have come from the horse`s mouth. Tony doesn’t have any friends.
On, on, into the valley of cuts, strikes, euro betrayals and growing strain ride the three hundred (and sixty).
Or so we’re told. I`ll just go on paddling my little canoe equably as ever.
* * *
Remember Gordon. You can`t go down this road of showering concessions on the better off to keep them from voting Tory without losing more support and votes from Labour’s core.
The more you dole out to the middle the more you have to cut from the bottom. We’ve already alienated them too much to risk them further.
Hold the base. Win the women. Fuck the Blairite middle. But quietly, and with comforting noises. Borrow and keep up spending.
Governments lose by stringency not borrowing.
* * *
Helen Clark reported from the rugby in Cardiff that Sarkozy wears four inch platform heels. When he speaks to her in France he’ll only speak Frog. In Cardiff he spoke in English. But only to gloat about how bad the Kiwis were.
* * *
It’s back to the old up and down routine to London. In these dying days of GNER the staff are surly “more than my job’s worth to let you use your railcard on the train”, Hull Trains are packed because they’re so good. ”Things can only get worse” is the new theme song.
* * *
Free advice for the friends of Tone. Both of you. Rearrange the following words to form a well known English phrase or expression. Up. Shut. |