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The European Union was invented to provide a stage for failing politicians to pretend to be statesmen even though they no longer had empires.
Which makes it the perfect launch pad for Euro-Tony’s new career as the come-back Euro-Kid saving Europe and defending British interests he would previously have abdicated.
He won’t win either fight of course but that isn’t what Europe’s about. It’s fighting a show-biz battle in which all win prizes. Eventually he’ll give way climb down and sell out but how much and whether sooner or later depends on Tony’s second front: the battle with Gordon. If Tony accepts that Gordon will take over soon, then he’ll get the inevitable betrayals out of the way so Gordon comes in with clean hands. If, on the other hand, he wants to stay on then the fight will be long, bitter, and never ending. That could get him back to favour in Britain even as it ruins his prospects for being Euro-President.
Strange thing are happening at the by-election which declares this Thursday. You didn’t know we’re having a by-election? Well we’re not. It’s really the General Election re-run in Staffordshire South where the Liberal candidate died just before polling day.
The voice of the Conservative candidate, Sir Patrick Cormack, echoes uphill and down dale, pledging his support for the Prime Minister, praising the EU and the Treaty and pledging his allegiance to a European Union which should be made stronger and stronger.
Somewhat surprising for a Tory candidate but it’s a recording of a speech Sir Patrick gave in 1992 in the Maastricht debates. Then the Prime Minister was John Major (remember him?) and the Treaty Maastricht, but the tape is broadcast now by UKIP whose press officer was news editor at Tyne Tees Television. Now Sir Patrick must spend most of his campaign going round trying to contradict what all the electors have heard him saying.
It`s interesting now that Downing St has been forced to publish the guest lists for Tony`s soirees at Chequers to see who the courtiers at the new Camelot are. A fairly tatty crowd actually. Fading show biz, TV and radio interviewers seeking an exclusive, the third of the Cabinet Tony gets on with, plenty of Murdochs and, of course, Gerri Halliwell. But no backbenchers. Not a single one. However brilliant (and we all think we are), however much the government and Tony’s career depend on our brute votes, not one of this lesser breed is considered house-trained enough to pass the portals. Even if my car broke down outside and I asked to use the toilet I wouldn’t get in. It might frighten the gliterrati if they encountered one of the horny-bottomed sons of toil. We`re not even fitted to perform our natural role and wait on at table. In fact there might be the makings of a modus vivendi here. Tony won`t upset us by coming to the Commons – he doesn`t much in any case. We will stay away from his palace – sorry place – so he doesn`t have to fumigate it.
Euro-enthusiasm is a kind of religion, the only central part of which is Europe right or wrong, so the great debate now triggered on what kind of Europe we should have is going to be as noisy and as incomprehensible as the theological wars of the reformation. Tony will try to get rid of a Constitution he never wanted. The French will ensure that the cow remains sacred. The Euro MPs will try and carve out a grown up job for themselves. The Germans will argue for paying less and the Irish and Spanish for get more because it’s the flow of dosh which makes them love Europe so. It’s all going to be very confusing and right over the heads of real people. Yet the longer it goes on the more likely Europe’s electors are to start asking the obvious and always unanswered question. What are we doing in this mess? What do we get out of it?
Gordon Brown and Tony Blair proclaim that putting the Bank of England in charge of interest rates was not only the best and most courageous thing they’ve ever done, but also the basis of Britain`s economic success.
Now it may be time to begin to fall silent on that. The dollar is falling because of their huge trade deficit. The Euro is falling because of the constitutional crisis - which is the only way they have of devaluing. These falls will improve the economic prospects for both. Meanwhile ours will worsen. The Bankers are now in power here and have no higher wisdom than interest rates double the rest of the world’s and a high pound to check inflation. With the pound already overvalued and our manufacturing uncompetitive as a result, the nation might be slightly less enthusiastic about the wisdom of the Bank of England. |
